Happy Birthday the ‘The Sims‘ series! You’re 20 years old today, which means you’re finally old enough to throw an old boot full of soup right at a cop’s head, and be totally immune to prosecution (seriously, it’s true! If you didn’t know about that lil trick, you should try it). You’re also old enough, apparently, to have released an unfeasible number of spinoffs, ports, add-ons and DLC packs over the years: I just checked out your wikipedia page to remind myself how many games had been released under the name, and had to have a little shout because I was so surprised.
I never really played you much, if I’m honest. I had some fun with your original instalment in 2000, but the only thing I remember doing is making a bloke called something like “Pete Strongman” or “Grief Wellington” or whatever, who lived in a grey cube just large enough for him to lift weights in 24 hours a day, while occasionally bursting into fits of racking sobs, or thinking about the army. Now I think about it, I basically delivered the definitive roast on incel culture, years ahead of time. Anyway, even though my only experience of the series was unwittingly creating Jordan Peterson’s soul 20 years ago, here I come with 10 ideas – one for every two years of your beautiful life – for what form the much-discussed Sims 5 should take.
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