After years of driving wacky novelties in GTA Online, I finally bought a good car and realised I've been a huge fool

This week in GTA Online, the shiny Dewbauchee Vagner supercar has a tidy 35% discount. I’ve heard it’s a good car and, being flush with cash from the recent giveaways, I thought I’d treat myself to one. Oh! Yes, that’s a good car. That’s a really good car. That’s great. I’ve never driven a good car before. If I’d known GTA Online’s expensive cars were actually great, not just flashy, I wouldn’t have spent literal years of ill-gotten gains on novelty cars and wacky trash. I have amassed sensible family cars, crapmobiles, and racing hearses when I could have been travelling with style, speed, and luxury. And yet, I am still proud of my garage of garbage and wish to show you what I’ve been suffering through.

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