I have never played a Five Nights at Freddy’s [official site] game. This is nothing to do with loathing the art style or having no patience for jump-scares, and everything to do with an ancient prophecy that states the entire population of the world will spontaneously sprout weeping facial sores should a 5’6″, quarter-Jewish man born in Upton Snodsbury, Worcestershire ever play a game about a scary teddy bear. I’m doing this for you, you understand. As such I will never know if the impending series finale/JRPG spin-off Five Nights At Freddy’s World, is a fitting conclusion to these tales on animatronic horror. I can, however, tell you why it’s not out yet, and when it will be.
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